last night I had a dream
about every person
i’ve ever kissed.
wall to wall,
their bodies filled
that was the size
of a tennis court.
everyone’s shoulders were touching
they all kissed
standing next to them
while i watched.
i tried to walk into the room
but i couldn’t fit
and nobody would move
to make room for me.
my mouth is small
my tongue is short
but every part of me
craves something bigger
feels like i was born
with an impractical imbalance
an insatiable want
all at once
on a plate in front of me
for your hands on my face
and mouth opening
as wide as my cold lips will stretch
to see if i can swallow you whole
to see if i can keep a part of you
i mostly just want
to touch something
and have something
click the sad dad to read the rest of the poem.
Everyone says I seem to be doing a lot better
about the fact that you left me when I asked you to.
I always refer them to the obvious clues:
the warmest winter I’ve ever felt,
or the fact that I’m eating a lot less without you around,
and that maybe now I’ll finally weigh what I did when I was
a freshman in high school; I’ve always wanted to be skinny.
I’ve kissed 3 boys since you’ve been gone.
I only remember 2 of them
and I only liked one.
I’m trying to remember what kissing you feels like,
but every time I think of your mouth,
my stomach turns, and this makes me want to eat less.
So yeah, I guess you could say things are looking up.