all cops are bastards

i just don’t really like cops.
they seem to always be laughing at me
and waiting for me to trip across the street.
they have greasy smiles,
makes me feel uneasy,
makes me feel insecure,
makes me feel like they see me and think
‘she will never be as good as a cop’.
i think
‘fuck cops
fuck cops
fuck cops’
over and over and over in my head
all the time
but i know i would call 911
and pray for them to show up
if i heard someone breaking into my apartment at night,
but then maybe the robber and the cops
would have it out with each other
and everyone will die
and everyone will win.
cops are okay, i guess.
but for real.
fuck ’em.

in the weeks after we broke up,

when i was driving alone,

i would move my right hand

over to the passenger side seat,

place it on top of my purse

and grasp it lightly,

as if it was your thigh.