heat season

my summers alternate between “really fucking fun”
and “boring, but let’s keep trying anyway.”

it usually depends on whether or not
i am in a romantic relationship
or if i am actively seeking someone to hold me down.

this summer has yet to let me know
which one it’s going to be this year.

i’d like to know beforehand

if i am going to regret it
or if i am going to remember it.

there is a huge difference.
i don’t remember things
that i regret.

i guess i never regretted
you.

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