poem for jv, 5 parts

hearing birds chirp
before i’ve had the chance to reach my bed
is one of the most painful reoccurrences
in my life.

it only takes me one hour and forty seven minutes
to walk from one end of this city to the other.
i could walk farther,
but shit gets dark past a certain point
and i don’t think a familiar face
would be anywhere near those parts.

i fell asleep watching ‘how to train your dragon’
on dvd for the sixth night in a row.
i woke up to the menu looping over and over.
the same 15 second song played a hundred times.
i dreamt of teeth and black scarves and allergies.

walking backwards feels scary and cathartic.
i know these streets with my eyes closed
so i walked backwards downhill for three miles
before turning around and walking another
three miles backwards uphill to my front door.

some days i don’t look for you at all.


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