sadder poem

i was really sad from like november-march so here is a poem from that point in my life, it’s OK or whatev, i’m better now, thanks, OK!

___

Every song I listened to tonight made me feel

like a ton of bricks had just landed in my stomach

with the force of an angry mob, pointing their guns

directly into my soul, aim and fire, like twenty bullets.

And then the lines I had heard a hundred times before

resonated in my mind a hundred times more:

“There’s times I think of leaving

but it’s something I’ll never do

because you can do better than me

but I can’t do better than you.”

It’s not settling if I’m the one aiming high.

Do you feel that you’re not getting the best deal?

Have I been hiding under a pillow so far

that I don’t notice your tone when you speak?

I guess I never panned out to be the type of girl

you could see yourself spending the rest of your life with.

We’re still young, and you’re always in a hurry.

If you were going to leave, I’d rather you just do it,

now, than make me wait another year.

And now “the ice is getting thinner”

and blah blah blah, all the Death Cab songs

in the world make me feel like a beginner.

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