i am embarrassed

“making the best people feel like the worst, making the worst people feel like the best.”  the second part especially.

the sandwiches at this cafe are really big, so i only order half.  when you get a half sandwich, sometimes they give you chips, sometimes they don’t. the second part, it makes me really sad when that happens, when they don’t give you chips.  even though the chips are so crunchy and loud that i think everyone in here is looking at me eating them and getting really angry for my noise making, so i don’t look up because i am embarrassed.

i’d like to go on a first date with someone to see titanic in 3D.  i think that would be a very honest date.  we will meet outside the theater and shake hands.  i’ll do a weird curtsy with my legs because i don’t know how to shake hands on a date.  i will also smile, and you will think about how i am prettier than i sounded on the phone/my pictures on the internet.  during the movie, i will cry, and you will look at me out of the corners of your eyes to see if i am an ugly crier.  i am, so you won’t call me again, and there will be no second date.

a week later you will be at the cafe and hear a “crunch crunch crunch crunch crunch” and you will look up and see me, 3 tables away, not looking up at everyone who’s looking at me.

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