Everything on the Inside

I stopped being able to focus on anything
real or sensible in this world
after you told me how happy I made you
today
because of how awful it made me feel.
Everything on the inside of my body
shut off at the sound of your voice.
Your smile sent me in a downward spiral
of longing/regret/disgust/jealousy
and I felt all of these emotions
simultaneously,
when I knew all I should have done
is smiled back.
Because we both know
how we felt
one year,
four months
and fifteen days ago,
so why haven’t I moved?
You tease me,
unknowingly,
with every word
that I can’t let go.

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