Everything on the Inside

I stopped being able to focus on anything
real or sensible in this world
after you told me how happy I made you
because of how awful it made me feel.
Everything on the inside of my body
shut off at the sound of your voice.
Your smile sent me in a downward spiral
of longing/regret/disgust/jealousy
and I felt all of these emotions
when I knew all I should have done
is smiled back.
Because we both know
how we felt
one year,
four months
and fifteen days ago,
so why haven’t I moved?
You tease me,
with every word
that I can’t let go.


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