Everything on the Inside

I stopped being able to focus on anything
real or sensible in this world
after you told me how happy I made you
today
because of how awful it made me feel.
Everything on the inside of my body
shut off at the sound of your voice.
Your smile sent me in a downward spiral
of longing/regret/disgust/jealousy
and I felt all of these emotions
simultaneously,
when I knew all I should have done
is smiled back.
Because we both know
how we felt
one year,
four months
and fifteen days ago,
so why haven’t I moved?
You tease me,
unknowingly,
with every word
that I can’t let go.

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A Pretty One

It’s far too long
past the expiration date
of you and me
and rooftops in east Baltimore
and well-balanced breakfasts
and flags flying in a cloudless sky.

It’s far too late
to be thinking of your face
and how at one point in time
I thought you’d be more
than a pretty one,
a fun one for more than one night.

The ‘you and me’
that I pictured for years
was less interesting than the way
I thought about you
when I only knew what you looked like
from behind.