Everything on the Inside

I stopped being able to focus on anything
real or sensible in this world
after you told me how happy I made you
because of how awful it made me feel.
Everything on the inside of my body
shut off at the sound of your voice.
Your smile sent me in a downward spiral
of longing/regret/disgust/jealousy
and I felt all of these emotions
when I knew all I should have done
is smiled back.
Because we both know
how we felt
one year,
four months
and fifteen days ago,
so why haven’t I moved?
You tease me,
with every word
that I can’t let go.


Nothing At All

I woke up today
and my feet felt
as if they were made of ice.

I couldn’t tell if
it was the most excruciating pain
I had ever felt,

or if I could feel
nothing at all.

A Pretty One

It’s far too long
past the expiration date
of you and me
and rooftops in east Baltimore
and well-balanced breakfasts
and flags flying in a cloudless sky.

It’s far too late
to be thinking of your face
and how at one point in time
I thought you’d be more
than a pretty one,
a fun one for more than one night.

The ‘you and me’
that I pictured for years
was less interesting than the way
I thought about you
when I only knew what you looked like
from behind.